Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize