Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
