this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
As shirtless as possible
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
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