How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize