we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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