Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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