I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
