mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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