Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
