I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
