This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
