he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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