I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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