That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Randomize
