hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
