His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
