I think i sorta joined a cult last night
the condom got lost in my hair
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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