Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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