im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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