I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
