covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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