so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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