so explain again why im purple
no
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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