I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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