Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
