if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
