I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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