Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
