If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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