If you die in college, do you die in real life?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
