This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
