Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
smell my finger.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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