it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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