I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
