I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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