I cannot find my penis.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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