I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
