On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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