I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just high enough for therapy.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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