"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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