i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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