I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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