You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
