You just made me feel so damn special
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize