I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
