I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
