i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
