If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
