i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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