Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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