All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
