somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
as a side note pls kill me
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
