She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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