K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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