and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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