1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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