Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
