I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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