If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
