Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
