I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
