its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Send help, water and tortillas.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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