the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He had one of those small greek statue penises
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
